Coaching; guiding; mentorship.
Some of the words that we may interchange to try and condense the meaning into the description of “helping someone to be better than they are, not necessarily because you have a storehouse full of career or life experiences, but because you simply need those around you to possess the growth mindset in achieving the best version of themselves.”
Excellence; potential; impact; intentional. Those are some of the words I never shy off to use in my day-to-day serious conversations in retrospection of achieving the growth mindset.
Popularity often demands one subscribe to the school of thought that one can only do something better because of directly experiencing it. We take as the ‘gospel truth’ advices on deep emotional disappointments from people who have experienced it; marriage counsel is deemed the best from someone who is already in the institution; and a mentorship relationship only works well when you have experienced being mentored.
While not disregarding the fact that experiences do have a significant extent on how perspectives and realities are shaped, giving a chance to this other thought also proves to work for our own benefit: just because someone has had a direct experience does not make them an expert and the only way to achieve becoming what you need to become. In this case, we will focus on mentorship.
Demystifying mentorship
Mentorship is not a one-sided parasitic kind of relationship. It is a mutual commitment to dignity and transformation.
The mutuality of the mentor mentee relationship has often been disregarded in magnifying only how the mentee benefits.
The kind of preparation that has to happen in a mentor’s life to accommodate a mentee is something that is worth mentioning. As the mentor gives, he/she is refilled and rejuvenated. Effort, consistency, patience, and mercifulness are some of the virtues that a mentor needs to train themselves on when assisting their mentee.
It is a lifetime’s work.
It has been a generally accepted principle that mentorship is to be given a certain time period. What is the worst that could happen when we shift the thought of timing mentorship (say a 3-month mentorship program) to view it as the work of a lifetime? Will, after the specified period, the mentee feel that they are able to conquer life’s unique challenges?
Often confusing mentorship (life guidance) and empowerment (given power to) has been our greatest undoing in understanding how to comprehensively handle mentors and mentees. This leads to great disservice to the mentee.
What if after 3 months (an example) is when you have fully gained the trust of your mentee?
Mentorship is building trust and a genuine human connection. Building and maintaining human connections require time, effort, sacrifice and interest. Yes, interest makes all the difference.
To quote John Maxwell, author of Mentorship 101 that development always takes time because it requires change on the part of the mentee, according to their needs. Change takes time.
Mentorship plays a vital role in developing confident individuals. It is not only simply about teaching, but also empowering. Bridging the gap between potential and achievement, it further strengthens support and community development by providing guidance.
At AMEN, we believe that mentorship is one of the most powerful tools for creating lasting change. Together we restore, together we rebuild.